It usually doesn’t bode well when you get a call from the teacher in the middle of the day. Usually it involves vomit, fevers, biting with broken skin, diaper explosions, seriously bonked skulls, and so forth. So when The phone rang and Stella’s teacher started off with “Everything is OK, don’t worry,” I was still dubious.
Previous calls like this had detailed an emotional saga where bites were exchanged between two young women as they conversed on the subject of who was to sit in the swing directly adjacent to a young man with dreamy eyes. In this particular case, the story was almost as interesting- and it came with a picture. A picture of the “thousand word” variety.
Apparently Stella is not a strong napper at school. At this point she was sleeping directly behind the easel, out of view of the teacher in the classroom. Oh, those were innocent times. During the nap, back in those days, the teachers were blithely responding to parent emails, or uploading pictures of the kids, or eating lunch, or even taking a much needed break. Suffice to say they were not staring at Stella, who had woken up, obtained a dark purple marker, and began steadily coloring the floor and cabinet next to her. When that was sufficiently covered, she started to apply the ink to her own self. Observe.
Just kidding. That’s not really a photo of my 3.5 year old girl, you silly. That is internet tattoo legend, Mr. Cool Ice. Below is the real picture, as admitted into evidence. She looks less like a tattoo legend and more like an extra from The Walking Dead.
I know- a lot of ink, right? She’s got more ink than Mr. Cool Ice!
How fitting that this young rapscallion is wearing a Bartman shirt. And look at that face-she’s not quite sure how to feel about the attention she is getting at this moment. She was a bit mortified. The washable marker did come off, though it took a few days to be completely gone. That corner of the classroom still bears the scars of that day’s skirmish with Sir Marks-A-Lot, and the tale has become legendary among the teaching staff and a fair number of parents.
Her teachers deserve a commendation for how well they took all this is stride. I am sure they spent hours scrubbing stuff, including my kid, and they didn’t worry about it too much. There was much laughter than tears. But the following day, when two other young women repeated the trick, which was not as amusing, for some reason.
So in addition to being a artistic genius and a rebel, my kid is a trendsetter and an amateur Zombie Makeup Artist. Aw yeah.
Speaking of The Walking Dead…